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[av_heading heading=’ RAMBLINGS OF THE UNMARRIED | Top of the list’ tag=’h3′ style=’blockquote modern-quote’ size=” subheading_active=’subheading_below’ subheading_size=’15’ padding=’10’ color=” custom_font=”]
BY GORDON Q. GUILLERGAN
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Monday, May 15, 2017
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“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
LIFE IS always about having to know what you value the most and realizing that some things take the back seat while others shall be on top of your list.
Common marital problems spring from the lack of intent to make the family or marriage a priority.
Carol Sorgen noted in an article (7 Common Relationship Problems and the solution for each) that if you want to keep your love life going, making your relationship a focal point should not end when you say “I do.”
Further, Karen Sherman, author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last, wrote: “Relationships lose their luster. So make yours a priority.”
According to Sorgen, the need to do the things you used to do when you were first dating is a manifestation of making the marriage a priority. The showing appreciation, the constant compliment for each other, the need to contact each other through the day and show interest in each other is an initial step in showing how you prioritize a relationship.
Plan date nights. The need to schedule time together on the calendar just as you would any other important event in your life is one way to free yourself from other burdens of work and allow you to catch-up on each other.
I know you might be thinking, but we see each other every day?
The physicality of the relationship does not determine its depth. We must not rely solely on the idea that you are together every day. It is not enough that you are together every day, but the depth of your being together is what is important.
Respect one another. Say “thank you”, and “I appreciate…” It lets your partner know that they matter. We neglect to appreciate certain things or words sometimes, but the need to show appreciation is important. When you are appreciated, end it at that. Never expect to be reciprocated. Do these because it is in your heart to do it, and without intentions of being reciprocated.
What we prioritize in life determines who we are.
I have come to realize how many of my relationships in the past did not quite work; I neglected to prioritize them. But that is a single person’s point of view. In marriage, it must be a priority after God.
Perhaps not within this context but under the Family Code, when one of the spouses neglects his or her duties to the conjugal union or commits acts which tend to bring danger, dishonor or injury to the other or to the family, the aggrieved party may seek relief from the court (Article 72).
But the spouse who neglects his or her duties to the conjugal union may be inferred as someone who does not fully commit to the marriage and makes the marriage of lesser priority, hence causing danger, dishonor or injury to the union.
We all make decisions every day. And even the smallest decisions we make changes our life forever. So choose well. Decide well. Prioritize well. We may be given redemption in life but time lost is lost forever. (gordon.qg@hotmail.com/PN)
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