I CARRY dumbbells in my shoulder bag.
And I hit dumb people with it.
Sorry, not sorry.
***
I’m 53 years old, and I run or walk a lot in Dumangas.
Because of my 16-year absence in my hometown, most of the Gen Z and Alpha Gen do not know me.
But I don’t let that be their excuse to be stupid.
***
If they’re on my path of walking or running, especially in the plaza, and they’re so preoccupied by their gossips or gadgets, I run them over.
With my sharp elbows.
Or my bag-concealed dumbbells.
***
That should teach them to mind their way.
To look where they are going.
That should teach them to stir clear of my way.
I like it when they scream, “Ouch!”
And I just say, “Look where you are going.”
***
There is no meanness in my heart.
I just want to teach people lessons.
Because apparently, their parents, teachers, preachers, police force, and government has failed or neglected to teach them that basic lesson of “looking where you are going.”
***
Sometimes, when people part like the Red Sea as they see me coming, I feel a sense of entitlement.
I love the respect, acknowledgment, and recognition.
So, when oncoming young people are walking blindly on my path, I entertain the idea of ‘entitlement’.
Do they think that they own the road?
***
You can ask me the same, “Do you own the road?”
And I’ll probably reply, “Do you want me to buy this road?”
Now, if the kids can say the same, I’ll let them feel entitled to the road.
I’m easy like that.
***
Why dumbbells?
Well, it can be any hard painful object.
But I don’t want carrying stones in my bag.
The dumbbells, I carry to bash the heads of dogs who try to attack me during my early morning runs.
I’m least likely to use them against handsome rapists.
***
I’ve never been raped in Dumangas.
Or elsewhere, for that matter.
I guess I’m not the type that rapists will attack.
I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment…
Or an insult.
***
I am not advocating violence at all.
NO TO VIOLENCE, period.
But if people have to run against hard objects, and need to feel pain to learn to look where they are going, I am all for experience as education.
Let them run against my iron elbows, or my concealed dumbbells.
***
I have some really sharp elbows.
Sometimes, I elbow my way in crowds.
Normally, I’m accorded courtesy.
VIP treatment.
Privileged and express lanes.
But if not, I’m okay using my elbows to get to where I need to be.
***
There’s a simple reason why I walk or run in a straight line.
I’m 53.
I try to avoid falls so I keep my pace, my balance, and just go on a straight line.
No zigzag dramas for me.
So even if I am moving, I’m really more of an immovable object. Haha.
Now, if you expect me to change course because you are not looking at where you are going, welcome to my elbows, welcome to my dumbbells!/PN
