Experiencing a lull in your sex life is very common. It can happen even to couples who are happy and still madly in love with each other. There are many reasons for why it can happen, too. Stress and medical conditions can diminish sexual desire and performance. It may also be caused by the lack of excitement from following the same foreplay routine and sex positions every time you have intercourse with your partner.
Whatever the reason may be, you should know that you don’t have to settle for the status quo. Making the extra effort to reinvigorate your sex life can have positive effects for your relationship as well as your overall health.
Send Sexts to Each Other
Take advantage of all the free messaging apps to send flirty or downright dirty messages to your partner throughout the day. If you’re feeling shy or a little silly, start with a few compliments on a quality they have that you find sexy. This is a great mood and confidence-booster for them and reminds you of why you were so attracted to them in the first place. Once you’ve gotten the hang of flirty messages, you can be more provocative or even explicit in your messages. You might even exchange some NSFW photos if you’re using a secure chat server. If you want to keep things a little less risque, invite your partner for a date to a sex shop Philippines couples frequent.
Try Some Role Play
Have you ever fantasized about certain sexual situations? It can be as elaborate as dressing up in costumes, or as simple as hooking up with a stranger from a bar. Whatever your kinks might be, share them with your partner and ask them to share theirs with you. Then take turns making each other’s fantasies come true. Apart from the novelty of the experience, being open to new ideas and wanting to indulge each other are good elements to have in a healthy relationship.
Get a Room or Take It Elsewhere
If neither of you have any particular fetishes or aren’t entirely comfortable with them yet, try using a different setting for your sexual escapades. Take sex out of the bedroom and challenge yourselves to have sex in all the different spots in your home. You may need to do some sneaking around if you have kids or live with other people but some couples get an extra thrill from the notion of getting caught. On the other hand, if the idea of a risky quicky makes you more worried than horny, book a hotel room and put sex as the main agenda of your staycation.
Touch Each Other over Clothes
While it may seem counterintuitive, getting frisky while keeping your clothes on can actually make sex more exciting. Getting around all those clothes requires creativity, and it can be reminiscent of fumbling around for a quicky. The feeling of being touched through a silky fabric can add to the sensuality of the experience, while men might enjoy wearing nothing under jeans and being ready to go as soon as they unzip their pants. Sex can feel more spontaneous and unbridled, like you just couldn’t wait to satisfy your desires.
Play With Toys and Lubricants
Sex toys can maximize the pleasure of both partners, whether they are used solo or in partnered play. Even if the toy is designed to only work for one body part at a time, there are many ways for a partner to be involved in its usage. Vibrators are some of the most commonly used toys by couples but there are a lot more to explore. Try sleeves, suckers, cock rings, beads, or even anal plugs.
If adding a sex toy is too big a step, start with lubricant. The added slip can enhance sensations and help with any feelings of tightness. Play with hot or cold sensations, or get flavored lubes if you enjoy oral sex. Just remember to get the right kind of lubricant if you use toys or condoms because silicone and oil-based lubes can damage some materials. To be safe, stick with a water-based formula.
Trade Movie Night for Porn
The prevailing stereotype is that only men enjoy porn, but there is porn specifically made for a female audience. In fact, there are so many different kinds of porn available that both partners should be able to find some that really gets their juices flowing. Instead of hiding away to watch it by yourself, watch it together and point out any techniques or positions you would like to try together. Be warned that you may both end up getting frisky and working on your own endings.
Sex with a long-term partner may never achieve that same energy and urgency as you had when you were still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be great. There are many ways you can spice up your relationship and continue to have mindblowing sex in your nth year together. Keep an open mind about trying new things with each other and make the effort to pursue each other’s pleasure.
