(This is a seven-part series on “A Day in the Life of Peter Solis Nery”. In this first installment, the great PSN wakes up with a big woody for life.)
WAKING UP WITH A DICK
You wake up to the sun.
Meaning, you can now close the window you opened last night because you wanted to sleep with the nocturnal sounds of nature and the cool summer breeze.
Yes, it is still summer but you really haven’t turned on your centralized air conditioning for weeks now.
You open the windows at night to let the cool air in.
You close the windows during the day to keep the hot air out.
*
Smile.
It is the morning.
Be grateful you are still alive.
It’s still a few months before you turn 50.
And already you are excited.
You are grateful, prayerful for the gift of life.
You are grateful everyday, but today you realized it with profundity.
*
You also realized Life has treated you well.
Sure, you got lonely days, angry days, days you just wanted to disappear from the face of the world.
But who doesn’t?
If you look at the big picture, you are pretty blessed.
Your kindness got you somewhere.
Your honesty is respected.
You friendship is valued.
*
Your uniqueness is pretty much appreciated.
Not really by everyone, but it doesn’t matter.
You get by.
And so far, you have shown your critics and detractors.
Not that they really matter to you anyway.
You look outside your window, and you smile at your flower garden.
The flowers are not worried if they are liked or not.
*
In this life, you now understand, there will always be people who will not like you.
They were there when you were born.
Maybe even before you were born.
They were there when you were three.
When you were thirteen.
When you were twenty-three.
When you were thirty.
You understand now that they will still be there even if you live to be three hundred.
*
You take a morning piss.
You stroke your dick.
It’s still there.
You smile.
Big dick, happy dick.
Almost fifty.
And proud like a great fighting cock early in the morning.
You shake it fondly.
Then, you wash your hands.
*
You go down to the kitchen.
No one is preparing breakfast in bed for you these days.
But that is okay.
You are getting used to making your own coffee now.
You are an instant coffee guy.
All you need is freshly boiled water.
You put water in the pot, and set it over the stove.
You wait until it whistles.
*
You are thinking, If you have someone special, you wouldn’t mind buying a Keurig coffee maker.
Not everybody is into Folger’s Classic Roast instant coffee, or whatever cheap brand you picked up at the grocery store.
You don’t even have Nestle Coffee-mate creamer.
You take your coffee black.
Plain and simple.
Cheap and easy.
*
With a fancy Keurig coffee maker, you can make single cups of whatever coffee blend your guests, overnight lovers, sex partners, or husband/s like.
For yourself, you are okay with instant coffee.
You like things simple.
But you will go the distance for someone special.
Who cares if it’s just a one-night stand?
If he made you feel special last night, he’s someone special.
*
The pot whistles.
Your teaspoonful of instant coffee crystals is ready in your coffee mug.
Your mug is over ten years old, probably twelve.
You have about twenty or twenty-four other mugs.
But you like this one.
It’s inscribed with the word “Workaholic”.
And it comes with a cartoon drawing of a man pushing pencils in the middle of a mountain pile of paperwork.
*
You do not identify with this man.
Not even considering that you are a writer.
You are some kind of workaholic yourself.
But not buried in paperwork.
Your work is different.
You like meeting people.
You spend time meeting people.
*
You take your coffee to the patio.
You listen to the birds.
And what are those? Are those ducks? Geese?
Or birds that make duck-like quacking sounds?
Ornithology is not your strong suit.
Not birds of America, anyway.
Cocks of Americans maybe; but not birds.
Too early to make sexy jokes.
But you make them anyway.
Nothing is too early for a man about to turn 50. (To be continued) (500tinaga@gmail.com)/PN
