(This is the third installment of the seven-part series on “A Day in the Life of Peter Solis Nery”. Previously, the great PSN woke up with a big woody for life, and explained why he continues to write for the reliable Panay News.)
COOKING IN THE NUDE
You are honest.
And you want to inspire.
You want to bring a big, bright light to the human condition.
You want people to see that they are not alone.
That there is a bigger picture.
That things make sense when you stop and consider.
That somebody else has been there, done that.
*
You pick up your mug.
The coffee has turned cold.
You have been working on your laptop for over an hour for this piece.
You know this is going to be long.
Probably another three-part series.
Probably four.
Who knows?
The day can drag on.
*
You write while you have ideas to write.
You take a break.
Make another cup of coffee.
Bring your work to the kitchen.
You think, What is it going to be today — cooking, eating out, or pizza delivery?
You are a single guy, so you don’t really care.
*
You have been cooking.
Pork adobo the other week.
All 2.5 kilos of it. Because you got pork for cheap — on sale.
You haven’t even finished eating it.
Half of it sits in the refrigerator.
All you need is rice.
You can heat up the adobo, add more purple onion rings, and a generous sprinkling of crushed red chilli peppers.
*
The other day, you cooked misua.
With sardines from the can.
Because you miss home.
You miss Iloilo.
You miss the Philippines.
But you were out of sardines in tomato sauce.
But you are ingenious.
You use sardines in oil.
*
You sautéed a lot of garlic, seven crushed cloves of it.
A big purple onion, sliced with delight.
And a big burger tomato you were trying to save from the trash.
Still, you crave for the tomato sauce flavor.
But you are also out of tomato sauce, or tomato paste.
So you used Heinz tomato ketchup.
And it worked.
*
Because you are a single guy, and not preparing meals for someone special, you really don’t care about stocking up the pantry.
You really don’t care that you are out of vinegar, or oil, or tomato sauce.
You pour wine in the pot, if you need vinegar.
Your pork adobo cooked with Chardonnay instead of Datu Puti white vinegar is divine!
*
You melt butter when you are out of oil.
You have ketchup when the recipe calls for tomato sauce.
If everything else fails, you cook instant ramen.
Or order pizza.
Or go out, splurge, and dine like a rich man.
It’s not uncommon for you to tip $12 for a $50-something lunch.
Sometimes, you even tip $20, if the waiter is cute.
*
You can be generous with tips.
Because you are a cheap bastard at home.
You eat instant noodles, drink instant coffee, drink cheap wine, drink water from the tap even if you have a supply of bottled mineral water in the basement.
You don’t even turn on the air conditioning in the middle of summer!
And this nakedness…
*
You go around naked in your house.
Sure, you live alone.
And being naked is really, totally great.
Feeling like Adam. Or Steve.
Especially in summer weather.
But going naked for days; weeks even?
What laundry is there to wash if you don’t wear clothes?
*
If there’s no laundry to wash, how can you even care if there is laundry detergent?
If there is fabric conditioner?
Without laundry and air conditioning, how can you even make an upsurge in the electric meter reading?
And that’s why you have the balls to dream of retiring in the Philippines.
Live in some remote barrio, a farm, where you can stay half-naked most of the warm season!
*
So, no.
You are not cooking today.
Maybe eat the rest of the adobo.
Or, if it is too much adobo, reheat it with a freshly sliced onion, and a lot of curry powder.
Pork curry on rice, why not?
Your friends tell you that curry without coconut milk is not tasty.
You disagree; because they’re just wrong.
Curry is curry. (To be continued) (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
