BY AIZA DELA CRUZ
A QUOTE of Dalai Lama states: “If you feel burnout setting in, if you feel demoralized and exhausted, it is best, for the sake of everyone, to withdraw and restore yourself”.
Here are some things I do to keep myself sane:
Set time for yourself
I always make time for myself, even if it’s just an hour, every day.
Setting time for myself keeps me grounded and connected to my being. It reminds me that I am still in control and I am still me. Sometimes I feel like being drowned in motherhood – having all these worries for a little human and just spend all my waking hours on him. Yes, motherhood is great but it is also exhausting and suffocating, especially this pandemic when we are all confined in our homes. It is crazy and tiring to be the mother, teacher, playmate, cook, and housekeeper every day.
My husband and I agreed to have time for myself and during that time, he will take care of our son. I spend my time in anything and any way that I want. I would enjoy drinking my tea while browsing social media sites or just laze around reading a book or a manga. I use my time to do my hobbies and do the things I did not have the time to do before. I believe that taking care of myself makes me a better mother.
Have a hobby
My hobbies help keep me happy and sane. Although most of my time is spent on taking care of my son, I make sure to find time for my hobbies. This is something my husband and I strongly agree on as we both have our hobbies. His is ornamental fish, and mine is collecting teacups and gardening.
Having a hobby makes me emotionally and psychologically healthy. I get to do what I want and enjoy the aesthetics of it. It is like consuming art. It enlivens my soul. And it keeps my mind busy from worrying about the crazy things happening around the world.
Learn a skill
This pandemic time is a good opportunity to learn a new skill or hone your skills. We are more connected now as classes and seminars are conducted online. Nothing is trivial now. Whatever it is, no matter how small or minor it is, do it. Start now when everything is at a standstill. Learning a skill is adding value to yourself.
I went back to writing, painting, gardening, and learning new recipes to cook for my family. I attended classes, lectures, and seminars online. These made me forgot my boredom, manage my stress, and forget at times the negative impacts of the pandemic in our lives. I am hopeful and optimistic about the future instead of being anxious and fearful about it.
Exercise
Yes, exercise is important, especially this time. We can all attest to having gained a few pounds or kilos due to staying indoors most of the time.
Scientific studies have proven that exercise is the most effective stress management strategy as it lowers stress, raises the mood, and improves immunity.
I took up yoga and it helped me improve my metabolism and posture. I look forward to my yoga exercise. It is the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning. This stretching exercise helps me clear my mind and be in tune with my body. If you feel good about yourself, you feel happier, and you do things in a much better mood.
No deadline learning
This is the most important thing we did this pandemic time. Since schooling has become online, mothers have also taken on the role of the teachers – the hands-on explaining, guiding, instructing, and the frequent reminding of the online classes, modules, assignments, and deadlines to meet.
We intentionally did not enroll our son in any school. He was only four years old when the pandemic hits and we did not find it urgent to enroll him when the whole world is on lockdown. Instead, we asked ourselves what we want our son to learn and focused on that. We deemed it important that he knows how to take care of himself and be independent so we focused on self-care activities such as potty training, bathing and dressing, and brushing teeth. We are happy that we were able to achieve those things and even more with the help of our therapists and mentors at Autism Society Philippines last year.
With no deadlines and timelines to think of, we were able to develop the needed skills through various plays. We were happier as a family as we spent most of our time having fun while learning. Although my son still needs work with his social communication skills, he already improved a lot and we are happy with that. By celebrating all his achievements and improvements, whether they be small or big, I was a happier mom with her sanity intact.
I enjoin everyone to have more compassion and understanding for all children with different abilities.
I would also like to hear the experiences of other parents who have children on the autism spectrum. You may email me at genevieveaiza.delacruz@gmail.com. I am a member of the Autism Society Philippines (ASP), a national non-profit organization dedicated to the well-being of persons on autism spectrum disorder./PN
