BY EDISON MARTE SICAD
Stream of consciousness: a discontinuous succession of images and ideas, connected by association rather than logical sequential thought (The Reader’s Companion to World Literature, 1984)
“Awareness of change is thus the condition on which our perception of time’s flow depends; but there exists no reason to suppose that empty time’s own changes are sufficient for the awareness of change to be aroused. The change must be of some concrete sort — an outward or inward sensible series, or a process of attention or volition.” – William James, Principles of Psychology
THE NOISIEST place lies from within. My mind is such a place. My thoughts can get out of control. Some call it self-talk; others consider such noises as internal dialogues. And there are those who would warn us against such inner voices. To clear our mind.
But the silent voices remain. I can quietly hear them. I just don’t know if other people also have “them.” I am curious as to how they deal with their uninvited guests or overstaying strangers.
In my case, the dialogues could sometimes be triggered by outside stimuli. It is difficult to be silent — and observant. I don’t like it. The more I listen, the more the words and conversations become real characters. Predictable. Interesting. Irritating.
But I learned a lot from such an experience, as I am learning more about my own personality. From this, my weaknesses become more pronounced. More self-knowledge can lead to more self-hate, which gives me the opportunity — the chance — to live with integrity and accountability.
And to live as such, I need to listen more and not allow my past to destroy my present to rob me of a great future.
Learning to listen:
1. “She will turn one man against the other.” – from the movie Season of the Witch (2011)
I am referring here (again) to the insidious influence and effect of social media. Freedom of expression, which I supposed should lead to truth and a common ground for understanding and respecting human dignity, has led to divisiveness and identity politics.
For it is possible that both sides could be partly wrong. One example here is the recent issue about an alleged transgender who was allowed to join in the women’s boxing match during the Paris 2024 Olympics.
One side would focus on the respect that must be shown to women. The other side would emphasize gender sensitivity. Other factors caused more heated discussions: the lack of fact-checking, the instant sharing of the misleading news, and the linking of the issue into bigger issues.
Unfortunately, the damage has been done. It seems that to some people, social (viral) issues are personal matters. So, a public expression of opinion can also be considered as a personal attack.
2. “This, then, is the human problem: there is a price to be paid for every increase in consciousness. We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain…” ― Alan Wilson Watts, The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety
To be more considerate: this was one of the lessons I would tell my students to learn and apply. But after some self-examination, I realized that it was I who needed to be more considerate. I thought I was being independent when all along I was only being selfish.
Success can make a person see others as tools for success: steps to “step on” to reach one’s destination, the screws and bolts to manage (or manipulate) the effect and create a sense of teamwork to one’s self-aggrandizement. In short, transactional.
A difficult thing to balance: knowing a lot could expose us to more hurt. Knowledge is not just power, for conscience enters the picture. To be told the truth (or to be proved wrong) is painful. Interestingly, some people consider confidence—or assertiveness—as proficiency. To be louder (or viral) is the name of the game. It is difficult to argue against people who are “famous for being (self-proclaimed) famous.”
3. “If you are ever tempted to look for outside approval, realize that you have compromised your integrity. If you need a witness, be your own.” – Epictetus
Feedback is essential for growth. But only if it is sincere and not a “pat on the back” gesture.
Results can also be considered as feedback. Negative comments could also be one. And sometimes, the feedback we give to others is more likely a reflection of our own personality.
I am not saying that we should not listen to others, nor doubt the realities of life and the wisdom of the ages. What I am pointing out is relying too much on superficial commendations and authorities.
I admit this is a difficult thing to do. I have fallen into this trap several times.
Somehow, we all seek some kind of appreciation from others. And for all intents and purposes, this is good, humane even. We feel validated, recognized, and respected. We feel valued, worthy, and blessed.
Should we consider such acts of appreciation as an essential attribute of success?/PN
