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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Monday, March 19, 2018
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IT’S mid-March and I’m nowhere near where I want to be in my creative writing life. I know I want to write the next big story in Hiligaynon literature, and I have several ideas and storylines brewing. But I’m not very sure which one to cook to perfection.
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To help me procrastinate, I went to Montreal for a few days. And entertained half the Filipino community there as the greatest Filipino performer they have ever seen. If you follow me on Facebook, you would already have seen photos and videos of me doing a Tahitian dance to the tune of Hawaii Five-O, in addition to hosting a luau event in the middle of winter.
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I’ve also been reading a lot to brush up my knowledge about sex, lovemaking techniques, and sexual health. You see, I’ve been invited to write as a columnist for the Manila Mail, the only Filipino newspaper in the DMV (Washington DC, Maryland and Virginia) area.
I’ve been offered the position several times before, but it’s only when they said they’re going online that I really began to warm up to the idea.
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I don’t mind being a sex guru and sex columnist in Iloilo, in Western Visayas, and in the Philippines. I’m a popular/notorious agent provocateur in the region. And I enjoy my notoriety/popularity. But my sex advice in a US-based newspaper? Would they really need that?
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I lost my virginity in Los Angeles. I had most of my sex binges in the US. My porn collection is produced in the US. What business have I teaching about sex and sexual health in a Filipino newspaper in America?
So, right now, I’m not very sure if I’m going to do it. But if I’m able to write some advance columns before the end of March, and the publisher and editor like them, I might just be the ordained sex columnist of Manila Mail when they go online in April.
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I don’t know if it’s the cold weather and the occasional snow. But I’ve been very lazy. I’ve not been writing as much as I wanted. Still, I want to have some free time to be able to write when the inspiration comes.
But also, I want to keep my commitment to my readers, especially here in Panay News. I know my fanatical readers expect me with regularity. So, to keep my promise and keep this column, here’s the first story in this series called “The Adventures of Peter Valentine”:
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Nagraguuk ang tiyan ni Peter Valentine samtang ginahimutaran niya ang azul nga mga kuriskuris sa painting ni Stavros Yanni sa Crete Contemporary Arts Museum.
Alas dos na. Kaina, ginpaiway niya ang pagpaniaga. Ginhingagaw niya ang museo bangud magatakup ini sa takna nga alas dos y media.
Para kay Peter, una ang art, ang taliambong, ang tanan nga gindihun sa ngalan sang katahum, sang sa pagkaon.
Sa iya tagipusuon, pintor man si Peter.
Apang sa subung, manunulat lang sia nga nagapanglugayawan sa Grecia.
Manunulat kag kahagugma. Lover, manugpalangga.
Sa matuud lang, wala sia sang isa nga ginapakamahal. Bukas lang sia sa posibilidad nga sarang sia makabunggu sa isa nga nagakaigu higugmaun.
Nagselfie sia sa gua sang museo bag-u nagpadulung sa Old Town, sa mercado, sang Rethymno.
Sa esquinita, gintamyaw sia sang isa ka guapo nga waiter. Bataun, ayhan 22 tubtub 25 ang edad.
Ginhagad sia nga magsulud sa Cafe Galeros. Ginpapungku.
Halus madulaan sang ginhawa si Peter. Nagpalangluya ang iya mga tuhod.
Wala sia sang ideal nga hitsura sang lalaki nga pagapalanggaun, apang gintandug ang iya balatyagon sang kaambung sang waiter.
Ginhatagan sia sang menu.
Nangayu sia sang vino kag diutay nga tion para makapili sang pagkaon nga orderun.
Pagbalik sang waiter dala ang white wine, nag-order sia sang souvlaki kag moussaka, mga pagkaon nga Griego nga ginrecommenda sang taxi driver halin sa Heraklion Airport sang nagligad nga adlaw.
Bangud pasado na alas dos, medio matawhay na ang restaurant.
Gintuluktuluk ni Peter ang waiter. Ginsunudsunud sang iya mga mata. Ginhimutaran.
Namutikan ini sang waiter gani nagpalapit. “Are you Filipino?”
Nagyuhum kag nagtangu si Peter. “How did you know?”
“Filipino are very nice. Very nice people,” siling sang waiter.
“My name is Peter Valentine.” Naglungu si Peter, nagyuhum nga daw alput. “Actually, call me Pietros. Pietros Valentino.”
“My name is Stelios. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you, too. I like you.”
Nagyuhum ang waiter. “I’ll go and check your food.”
Sang nagbalik si Stelios, dala n’ya na ang mga pagkaon nga gin-order ni Peter.
“Enjoy your food. I’ll be off in two hours, would you like to meet later?” Kag nangilay si Stelios.
“I’m staying at the Cretan Sun Hotel.”
“I know where it is. How about I meet you there at six? I want to take you somewhere to watch the sunset.”
Kag sa ulihi nga ginhambal ni Stelios, nahulug na naman sa pil-as sang paghigugma si Peter Valentine. Bangud romantico ang iya tagipusuon.
Kag sumugud sang sia bata pa, sia nagapati nga ang lalaki nga para gid sa iya, isa ka Prince Charming, nga nakahangup nga ang pagtan-aw sang pagtakup sang adlaw, ang pagbantay sang kasisidmon, nagakadapat nga ginapaambit sa labing hinigugma./PN
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