The adventures of Peter Valentine, Part 7

MORE than just my own varied, and extensive, experience of sex, and enjoyment of a happy and fulfilled life, I have much qualification to be a sex adviser.

As a male, I know what feels good for the males of the species. So, if you are a woman, or a clueless gay man, I can tell you exactly what men want.

As a gay man, I know a plethora of techniques to pleasure a man, gay or otherwise. Key phrase: plethora of techniques.

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Now, if you are a heterosexual man, what can you learn from me?

Okay, you are making me feel so old because my last sex with a woman was over a decade ago. But I know the G-spot! Do you?

And don’t argue G-spot with me if you don’t know Beverly Whipple.

Let’s do this again. If you are a heterosexual man, what can you learn from me?

Anatomy and physiology, for one thing. I’m a nurse! (And so was Beverly, of the Whipple tingle fame, back in 1982.)

I have a BS Biology degree from UP, too, lest you forget.

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And you know, some women may fake orgasms with you, but they never lie to me.

I mean, there’s just no reason why straight women would lie to their best gay friend. Especially if they are after some techniques and tips to make their men happy!

I also noticed that lesbians tend not to lie to me either. So I pretty much know about the joys of lesbian sex, too.

And it’s not arrogance that I’ve been stalked, as in Fatal Attraction obsession type, by at least three tomboys when I was in my late 20s and early 30s.

Trust me, I know women. I really think that men can be helped with a little wisdom from me.

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Let’s do this again. If you are a heterosexual man, what can you learn from me?

The creation of romance, idiot. Most women are suckers for romance, you see.

And if they’re not satisfied with your sex techniques, you might have lacked in the romance department big time.

If you still don’t know it, the brain is the biggest sex organ. If men don’t think so, it’s because they don’t know.

Sure, some women want to be done roughly. But that comes later. If you don’t know that, then you can learn that from me, too.

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I’m not trained in Psychology. It’s my interest. But I don’t have a degree in it.

I read a lot of books on Psychology. I counsel a lot of people. I run a virtual suicide hotline on my Facebook messenger chats. But I don’t have a degree in Psych.

What I have though is an extensive experience of women who come to me. Who seek my advice. Who are willing to try my techniques and tricks. And who report back to me what works for them, and what don’t.

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Because they know I have no qualms about sex talk, and I have no moral judgments for their stupid mistakes, they come to me more honest and genuine.

They ask me for sex and relationship advices, and they know they get the best because I am not skirting around certain topics. No topic is taboo for me!

They also see me as a happy, healthy, compassionate, and successful person. They want to know my secret/s. Because they trust me, I share with them what I know.

And most of the time, they go back to me again and again.

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Hey, I won’t force you, or anyone, to read what I write. I never have, and never will.

I live with the healthy knowledge that not everyone will need me, read me, appreciate me.

I may be in a public arena like the newspaper, but no one is forcing you to read me.

I’m not here in business for you, if you don’t need me.

I’m here for those who need me. Badly.

Or even just slightly.

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Meanwhile, here’s the last of this Peter Valentine series. As you can see, the series feels unfinished. Like you know I will write more stories like these seven. Happy Easter Monday.

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May siyam ka stops ang Attico Metro Red Line halin sa Akropoli station: Sygrou-Fix, Neos Kosmos, Aghios Ioannis, Dafni, Aghios Dimitrios, Ilioupoli, Alimos, Argyroupoli, kag ang terminal sang Elliniko.

Nagsakay sa Akropoli station sang metro train si Peter Valentine nga buut magkadtu sa Elliniko. Medio gutuk ang train, gani nagtindug lang sia. Sang nakalakat na ang train, nasiplatan n’ya ang isa ka guapo nga Griego. Bataun pa. Ayhan, 19 tubtub 21 años.

Kapila man magpasiplat sa iya ang lalaki. Ambut kon nagapasiplat gid man, apang nagadakpanay sila sang panulukan.

Kag daw ginahungud man ni Peter nga madakpan sia sang lalaki nga nagatuluk kag nagahimutad sa iya.

Sa Sygrou-Fix, nagdugang pa gid ang mga pasajero sang train. Apang sang naglab-ut na sa Dafni, naghaganhagan kag nagtahaw na gid man ang mga sumalakay.

Sa Aghios Dimitrios, nakapungku si Peter. Ingud sa isa ka babayi. Vacante man ang atubang nga pulungkuan apang wala ini ginpungkuan sang lalaki.

Ginhimutaran ni Peter ang lalaki. Estudiante ini. May dala nga notebook. Nakahooded jacket, apang wala ginasuksuk ang hood. Skinny joggers ang ginasuksuk sini kag tadlung sa linea sang panan-awan sang nagapungku nga si Peter ang nagabukul nga atubangan sini. Daku. Daku kag malaba ang bukol.

Ginlabaylabayan sia tuluk sang lalaki, ginbalikbalikan tuluk. Ambut kon indi luyag sang lalaki nga tulukun sia. Ambut kon luyag niya tapungulun si Peter nga obvious na nga nagahimutad sa iya. Ambut kon nanamian man sia nga ginatuluk sia nga may utug ni Peter.

Sa Ilioupoli station, ginpungkuan sang isa ka babayi ang pulungkuan sa atubang ni Peter. Sang nag-andar ang train, nagpanumdum si Peter kon paano palapitan kag sugilanunun ang lalaki. Naghatag sia sang condiciones sa kaugalingon. Kon manaug sa train ang lalaki bag-u ang Elliniko station, indi sila natalana nga magkilalahay. Kon sa Elliniko terminal manaug ang lalaki, mangisug sia nga bugnuhun ini kag hagarun nga mangafe.

Nagkuut si Peter sang calling card gikan sa iya wallet. En caso por caso.

Sa Alimos station, nagtindug si Peter. Nagpalapit sa handrail nga nagatindug sa tunga. Nagakubakuba ang iya dughan. Patayluyag na sia sa estudiante nga nakaskinny joggers. Gikan sa likud, iya makita nga matibsul ang buli sang lalaki.

Diutay na lang gid ang mga pasajero pagkatapus sang Alimos station, apang ara pa ang pila ka babayi nga nakasakay nila halin pa sa Akropoli. Daw nagabantay sa matabu sa ila nga duha.

Dayon, sa Argyroupoli, nagbaskug ang kubakuba sang dughan ni Peter kay basi manaug ang lalaki. Apang wala. Sa baylu, nanguyaput ini sa handrail. Kag sing makadali, nagtanduganay ang ila mga kamut, panit-sa-panit. Apang ginbawi man gilayun sang lalaki ang iya kamut.

Nakapamat-ud na si Peter nga bugnuhun ang lalaki, hagarun nga mangafe, apang daw indi gid niya mahimu sa sulud sang train. Ilabi pa nga may mga mata sang mga babayi nga daw nagabantay sa pagahimuun n’ya sa pamatan-un.

Pagbukas sang puerta sang train sa Elliniko, ginbalikid pa sang lalaki si Peter. Dalidali naman sia nga ginsundan ni Peter. Kag sang daw wala na ang familiar nga mga nawong, ginkuhit niya ang lalaki.

“Excuse me, will you please take my card? You don’t know me. But I’m a writer and filmmaker. I really like your face,” hambal ni Peter samtang ginahatag ang iya calling card.

“You make movies?”

“Yes, would you mind very much if I take your picture? I think you have a gorgeous face. I just want it for reference.

“It’s okay, I guess. You can take my picture, but I’m not really interested in making movies.”

“That’s fine. One step at a time.”

Kag didto mismo sa Elliniko station, ginkuhaan ni Peter ang pamatan-un sang litrato. “Can I buy you dinner or coffee? Just my way of saying thank you for letting me take your photo.”

“No, you don’t have to. I’m good.”

“I insist,” siling ni Peter nga kon kaisa may pagkadeterminado gid. “Please? It will make me really happy.”

Ginbasa sang lalaki ang business card. “Peter Valentine?”

“Yes, I am he. And you are…?”

“Foivos. Foivos, the latte boy.”/PN