BY BORDI JAEN
Failure is the mother of success. – Chinese proverb
FAILURE is difficult. Why? Because one comes into that venture with a heart set out for gold.
He tells his loved ones, “I will win for you!”
They expect him to win and he does not.
All sorts of bad thoughts enter his head. “I should have tried harder.” “I should have done this or that.” It spirals into a frenzy of negativity. A cacophony of disparaging thoughts.
This was what our debate team felt last year when we only got second place in a debate competition by less than a point. Everyone felt down. Certainly, because we had trained so hard and spent so much of our time, effort and resources. It felt like it all came to nothing.
However, looking back, we now look at our failure as a small setback into our greater goal of creating a sustainable and long-lasting debating organization for many years to come. Failure is part of the process. This is an experience many of us will face in life. In our experiences, the best thing we can obtain from them are valuable lessons. This was how we took failure.
Firstly, whether in a team or alone, failure is heart-wrenching and that is okay, just cry it out. In the words of a Danish story, “Cry, little heart, but do not break.” After all the emotions are out, try again and do better.
I remember how each of us blamed one another and ourselves over that defeat, but in the end, what point did it make?
Sure, make yourself feel good that it was not you who caused defeat, but that is lying to one’s self, like a general telling another, “I’ve lost fewer soldiers than you!”
The gladiators of the days of Rome would often come into the arena fully knowing that they could die there and then. This is where we get the phrase, “We, who are about to die, salute you.” It is indeed foolish to assume that among the many contestants of a competition, you will be the sole winner. No matter how prepared one is, there is still the possibility of losing.
Show me someone who has never experienced failure and I will wrestle Bigfoot for you. Make amends with yourself and the team then look forward to the future.
After making amends with yourself and others, it is important to get two things, feedback and analysis. Ponder on what happened and try to figure out the cause of the failure, find a way to mend it and try again.
This is not easy. It requires a lot of feedback and a lot of thinking. In an activity like this, honesty and frankness are allies. It is best to be bear with it. Train again and educate yourself to find the better method, the better strategy.
It is important also to look at it as a small setback in the greater goal. You’re still alive. You can still have another go. After all, you’ve only lost a battle, not the war.
This article goes out to the readers out there who are experiencing failures. You are not alone. I believe in your capacity to try again. Truly, failure is the mother of success. She patiently and laboriously takes care of her fetus. She labors and endures birthing pains to bring forth a beautiful soul into the world. Who is this infant brought into this world by Mother Failure?
The better you./PN
