(Part 1 of the “Give Sex This Christmas” series)
THIS IS A three-part series about the problems arising from the downplaying of Sex in the pursuit of our Happiness.
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Because I am a sex positive person, my first gift for you this Christmas is the Gospel of Sex.
You got that right — The good news of Sex.
And I think, it is important to spread this good news now because a lot of my friends are not having good sex.
And some marriages are about to break because of it.
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Next year, on my 50th birthday, I want to start my journey as Saint Peter of Dumangas.
But as early as now, I want to give you a preview of what it means to me.
In a nutshell, my journey to sainthood is simply an effort to be an inspiration to others.
And if I can inspire others to happiness, I would take the other title of Peter Solis Nery, Ambassador of Happiness.
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There are a few things that can make people happy, and content with their lives.
And because mine is a well-examined, and long (50 next year), life, I think that by now, I can speak about these things with authority.
Sure, it’s still a Take It or Leave It proposition.
But you would be a fool not to take me seriously.
Because, as you very well know, I have lived well, and have lived life abundantly.
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I have several gifts for you this Christmas.
Sex is not the most important of them.
But I’m starting off with Sex because it is often downplayed, or even neglected, by other wise men.
And all I’m saying is, if you continue to ignore Sex as a factor to a happy and fulfilled life, you might end up angry and grouchy.
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I have traveled much since last year, covering maybe 20, or 21, countries; three continents.
I have talked to people, friends, family, and the locals.
In general, people are still uneasy talking about sex.
But in general, I’ve also seen that people are horny.
Some are even pretty kinky, even for my well-exposed taste.
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Even in the most conservative societies, or perhaps especially in these conservative societies, there are many hypocrites who frown on sex talks in public.
But, trust me, they do the craziest, kinkiest sex in the dark.
It is not an uncommon finding that rape and sexually related crimes are highest in the most of these sex-repressed societies.
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What drives me crazy is that in the so-called conservative societies of the Philippines, the numbers of HIV and AIDS cases, and other sexually transmitted infections, are still on the rise.
And in alarming rates!
I am Peter Solis Nery, and I am HIV negative.
I am also an HIV awareness advocate.
But this is not that article.
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For this piece, I only want to preach a simple thing:
Sex is beautiful.
Sex is wonderful.
Sex is divine.
We all need sex.
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I will not argue against celibacy, chastity, and all those stupid values of sex organ preservation.
I am not against those.
Been there, done that.
You can salt and smoke your vaginas and penises, for all I care.
You can Scotch tape your hymen, or plug your butt with a tiny durian, and I wouldn’t even look.
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My gospel of sex is sex for those who are ready, and eligible, for it.
I want to save marriages.
I want wives to demand their orgasms.
I want husbands to get the best blowjobs in the world.
I want couples to enjoy each others’ body — buttholes, nipples, tongues, toes, earlobes, throats.
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I got a friend.
Separated from her husband.
Officially divorced.
Haven’t had sex in 14 years.
(Not really true.
She gave a boy of 18 a blowjob last year.)
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She likes the boy.
The boy likes her.
Consenting adults.
But she stops herself from enjoying more sex.
Why?
Because, she says, she’s old.
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I probe her.
(Because I have had sex with 18 year olds last year!)
Did you feel old when you blew him?
No, she said.
Was he repulsed when you blew him?
No, he even kissed me in the mouth after.
What’s the problem?
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My friend confessed,
I’m fifty.
And I thought I was totally dried up.
But this boy got me wet.
I never thought I could get wet again.
He got me all wet.
And it was amazing.
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True, my friend is old enough to be the boy’s mother.
But if these two consenting adults are making good sex, who are we to judge based on age?
And don’t give me that shit about robbing the innocence of the youth.
Because these young people, these so-called millennials, are never innocent!
They’ve been watching porn since they hit puberty.
(And maybe earlier!)
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My friend argues, But what will people say?
And I tell her, Let the people talk.
I have lived my life the way I wanted it despite what all the other people say about me.
And look, I am always happier than those people saying nasty things about me.
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Sexwise, I’m such a scandal.
But because I have no hidden skeletons, and haven’t been caught with dirt in my hands, I prevail.
So far, no sex video scandals for me.
So far, no one has really correctly guessed in public what I do inside my bedroom (and with whom!).
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(To be continued as “Sex Gift for All Ages”) (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
