WITH the Feast of the Holy Family, we should take time to examine how our own families conform to the model family of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We should never take this occasion and duty for granted. Our families, like each one of us, are still a work a progress. They are still on their way to their perfection as exemplified by the life of love within the Holy Family.
We cannot deny that the world and the families in general are drifting toward godlessness. Right now, we are witnessing a more aggressive type of secular humanism, that is, a humanism that excludes God and that only depends on some human consensus, however it is derived.
Many of our public officials are now espousing their own theories and ideas, based more on what is practical and popular, rather than on what our faith teaches us. They believe more in these theories than in the doctrine of our faith, and sometimes put them — their theories and the faith — in direct contrast.
We now have to grapple with the many manifestations of practical atheism, like relativism, materialism, commercialism, hedonism, agnosticism, etc. We have to be familiar with their causes and symptoms, their reasons and other factors that give some life to them. More importantly, we have to know the appropriate weapons to use for the combat.
Definitely we cannot be blind to the many challenges and difficulties that the contemporary family faces. The number of broken and dysfunctional families is increasing. Its nature, purpose and requirements are getting vaguer and vaguer to many people, especially the young.
Many developments today, while offering some good, are also creating havoc on the family because they are not understood well nor assimilated properly to the needs of the family. There’s so much concern for the economic viability of the family at the expense of taking care of its spiritual and moral vitality which is more important.
The main challenge now is for parents to educate their children properly. Precisely as parents they have the primary duty to bring up their children properly. And this responsibility is not only in the material aspects, like feeding and clothing, but more in the spiritual and moral aspects that in the end are a matter of education and formation.
That’s why parents should first of all realize very deeply that they need a good and ongoing human and spiritual formation. Let’s remember that this aspect of formation serves as the foundation for any education and training parents give to their children.
The practical aspects of learning can only be truly effective if they rest on a good, solid and consistent human and spiritual formation. Obviously, the basic human and spiritual values and virtues are learned by giving the children the appropriate basic responsibilities, like greeting or kissing parents to instill the virtue of respect, doing some household chores to inculcate the idea of responsibility and concern for others, etc.
Parents should also realize that to create a proper and conducive atmosphere of learning, they should try to create and keep an atmosphere of peace and cordiality at home. Since there will always be differences and conflicts, not to mention, mistakes and failures, parents should know how to handle these events without compromising that air of peace and cordiality at home.
Also very important for parents to carry out is to introduce their children as early as practicable to a life of piety. The rudiments of prayer and faith should be planted in the children as early as possible. This is a very important aspect that should not be regarded as only secondary in the priorities of what to teach the children.
In dealing with their children, parents should try their best to put themselves in the level of their children. Friendship, affection and intimacy should be fostered, such that there is trusting openness between parents and children, even if the right to privacy is also respected and, in fact, promoted.
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Fr. Roy Cimagala is the Chaplain of the Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise, Talamban, Cebu City (roycimagala@gmail.com/PN)
