The other interview, Part 3

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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Wednesday. September 20, 2017
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Your major competition in writing. Why so? 

Frankly, I do not think of people as competition. Either that, or everybody is competition. The thing is, I think of myself as more than just a writer. I am also a rockstar, a boldstar, which is to say, actor, playwright, filmmaker, performer, nurse, teacher, pop psychologist among many other things. I have also a certain confidence that I am in the top three, if not the number one, effective literary practitioner of Hiligaynon language today. So, who is the competition?

Now, if you look at the Palanca, for example; sure, my story may be beaten in a certain year, but these winners, are they consistent, or are they a flash in the pan? Worse, didn’t they win because of literary politics?

Now, granted I’m beaten as a fictionist/writer; can these people stand up against me as a performer or filmmaker? I know they can’t; so, I’m not at all threatened in my position. If I feel confident in my position, can I seriously think of major competition?

Now, you may pit me against the older writers like Leo Deriada or Alice Gonzales, but I am way ahead of them because I am pretty popular online, and outside the academe. Proof? I got invited to the Sharjah International Book Fair, and I still hold the record as the first Filipino author to be so honored. Ah, and I also have a little more money so I can afford a literary foundation bearing my name. Haha!

How did your relationship with Randy begin?

Randy and I met online. I had the guts to fly 3,000 miles to eyeball him, and he fell in love with me at first sight.

What were your personal motives for pursuing that relationship?

Randy was a decent man, and he adored me. I remember the advice usually given to young girls: Marry the one who loves you, not the one you love. (Because the latter can hurt you, but the former won’t.) I’m joking a lot about it, but I mean this: My ideal man is Tom Cruise, but if I can’t have him, I’ll settle for someone who adores me. Also note, I was approaching 38 when I started looking for a relationship. It’s not an easy age to be looking for gay partners.

How did your family deal with it?

Of the brood, I was the last to get into a marital relationship. In one way or another, all my siblings’ relationships are a little f*cked up, and they all have financial problems. With Randy, I turned out to be the best positioned as far as marriages is concerned. Randy couldn’t possibly be unfaithful to me; and with a little pension, we were pretty stable financially. In a word, I married smart, and Randy cannot be faulted.

Your first job at the hospital: You got an award, etc. Please tell me about this.

I came to America as a second courser Nurse. I always felt inadequate because my training was rather short (two years instead of the usual four for BSN). I also feel insecure because I know I’m just book-and-theory smart as far as nursing is concerned. So when I started working as a nurse, I compensated all these imagined inadequacies by working so hard in caring for my patients, giving the proverbial 110 percent.

I tried to be efficient and effective, my bedside manner is excellent, and I had the acting chops to really look hardworking when I’m working. I go the extra mile, and so I was awarded the DAISY Award for Extraordinary Nurses. I was purposive in winning that award. I mean, I really worked for it.

Moving to Baltimore: What’s the deal? How did Randy’s folks take it? 

Five or six months before we moved to Baltimore, Randy got sick for about two months. He fell, and because of pain, he didn’t walk around much, which just led to more weakness. I didn’t think that he’d die then; but I said, I wanted to spend more time with him, to make home in Maryland where we have a fully paid house.

I felt that hospital work is taking me away from my spouse, and if he won’t live very long, it might be a good time to retire and just enjoy life with him. We could afford it, so that’s what we did.

Living with Randy: What was it like on a daily basis? Quirks, idiosyncrasies, etc.  

Randy is a big drunk. He’s an alcoholic, and no one can really change him, not me, not his doctor, not his surviving sister. I didn’t wanna argue and quarrel over that. My idea: he has lived 60 years of his life doing what he wants without me, why should I interfere with his vices?

Also, remember that this is America, where individual freedom is paramount. Americans don’t like to give up their liberties, especially not to young Filipino husbands!

Randy also sleeps a lot, and pretty lazy about having physical exercise. With me retired, we both were living lazily. This is Randy: Wake up at 10 a.m. or 12 noon. Read the papers ‘til about 2 p.m., get dressed and go out for happy hour at 5 p.m. Drinks and TV until about 12 midnight or 1 a.m. And sleep until the next day.

I almost have the same schedule except that while he reads the paper, I’m on Facebook or writing something. And sometimes, if I wake up early, say 8 a.m., I’ll be online and writing also until he wakes up.

Writing and winning awards from the USA? How did that feel?

I like literary awards and recognition especially because I feel ignored by the people in the academe, especially in Western Visayas. I also feel I deserve all these because, although I am not formally educated in literature and writing, I teach myself and spend a lot of money on books, theater attendance, movie watching, travels, and all these things that expand my experience and knowledge to be able to write the way I do.

But I like the “big fish in the small pond” idea. Randy had been egging me to write the next great American novel, or at least write for international audiences. I have always refused, and focused my attention on Hiligaynon literature and Filipino readers. That’s still my direction in the next 10 years. I don’t really care about being famous around the world. I just want to be remembered as a competent and talented Ilonggo writer. Maybe one of the best writers in Hiligaynon literary history. (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
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