BY EDISON MARTE SICAD
“To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe-
SOMETIMES, it is the other way around: we act without thinking at all. Not that it is always a bad thing; there is also genius in spontaneity and good guidance in gut feel decisions.
To just think or plan things—or make a promise—is indeed easy. But it is in the doing where it gets interesting and challenging; and there are times that we just do things without having a full grasp of the consequences.
Dr. Maxwell Maltz, in his book Psycho-Cybernetics, suggested that a person may worry as part of the process in making a decision. And when a decision has already been made—and the execution done—the person must already let go of the worry, face the consequences, and learn from experience.
The school of life can be harsh, unfair, or discriminating. Somehow, survival of the fittest still rules the world. Those who are strong enough to risk failure—and admit failure—and still continue believing in their dreams are those whom we can call the real winners in the game of life.
All this may sound theoretical. For the past few years, I have been curious about how people learn from failure. I am referring to a situation where there is no exact answer or one way of solving the problem. And such a challenge requires a street-smart quality of thinking: intelligence not found in books but is more connected to the person’s upbringing or personality.
And I deeply admire people who have become successful in life not because of academic standing but because of emotional quotient. We may also call this Adversity Quotient.
Lats week, the result of the Bar Exam was released. One of our fraternity brothers passed the bar exam, on his fifth take, after almost a decade of difficulties—for when he failed the exam the third time, he had to enroll again for a refresher’s course. He never gave up on his goal. He reviewed—again and again. And now, he is a lawyer. The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. What you become in the process is the real achievement.
SCENARIO:
When you have hit rock-bottom: when you can’t see the progress or possibility of your goals happening; when it is taking longer than you have expected; when you feel like imploding because of frustration and disappointments: your chest tightening because of panic, experiencing shortness of breath as you stare at nowhere and you don’t know what to do next; that moment when you have hit the wall and you can no longer retreat for solace or turn back for some encouragement; when failure is a real event right in front of you—enveloping your entire consciousness that you can no longer think with certainty—then failing is no longer just a romantic word to “emote” with. Posting it on social media only aggravates your personal circumstance. Even talking about it to someone becomes useless. The guilt coming in, regret and blame choking you—immobilizing you. In this situation, the real you emerges; and your value judgement made evident and manifested; not deciding is a decision; staying where you are is moving you backwards; and humiliation and social embarrassment are haunting you.
If you find yourself in such a scenario, and still are able to survive it, then your Adversity Quotient is high.
C. Wright Mills has this theory called Sociological Imagination. This means that if you know how to situate yourself in your environment, you can will yourself to success. This is not just about having a good perception of the territory. It also refers to long-term planning. So, if you know how to contextualize your interactions and experiences vis-à-vis your goals and philosophy in life, then you can create the kind of environment that will cultivate and nurture you and turn your potential into reality.
Les Brown said that other people can’t really see your dream, so don’t expect them to totally believe in you or support you—or inspire you 24/7. They have goals and regrets of their own, difficulties to overcome, and personal matters to deal with.
IN CONCLUSION, give yourself the freedom to dream big—the biggest even. Be ambitious enough that it scares you into excitement just visualizing achieving your goals. Then prepare yourself: toughen up; be emotionally ready and proactive. Failures and setbacks will test your resolve. But if you are willing to pay the price, to do whatever it takes, to regard both praises and criticisms as part of the feedback, then success is just a matter of time.
As the saying goes, “A setback is a setup for a comeback.”/PN
