“WALA ka utang na loob! Ingrato/Ingrata ka!”
These are fairly common insults you hear during overly-dramatic fight scenes between family members in teleseryes.
But it’s not something you only hear on TV. I and several people of my generation have been called out by family members for not possessing this beatific quality.
What exactly is utang na loob?
Literally, it translates to “debt of one’s inner self” or “debt of gratitude.” An example of this is when a young adult sends monetary support regularly to their parents or relatives as a “thank you” for the times they were being supported. It’s a very common practice done by workers from all walks of life.
This is easy for those who are working abroad, especially in countries with high currency value. Any holler from the Philippines and they can send whatever amount they need with the only inconvenience being to find a trustworthy money transfer app.
For those back home who work minimum wage jobs though, the story is very different. Sometimes their salary is barely enough to pay for rent and food. People are even forced to sacrifice a portion of their food allowance to give an amount “sa balay”. Even P500 can be very hard to come by.
These people are left with almost no savings and no way to invest on self-improvement or on things that make them happy.
The sad thing though is that when these people “fail to provide”, they are met with insults and disappointments. They are looked to as failures because they cannot pay back the people who supported them during their school days. These people start to get burned out not only physically but also mentally and emotionally.
We must stop this mentality. Utang na loob can be a beautiful quality but when it is abused it becomes rotten and corrupt. Giving money should not be an obligation, but rather a true gift. A true “thank you” and not a death sentence.
Please, to the senior citizens out there, stop demanding support from your children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. They are not time deposits. Abusing utang na loob leads to a generation of stagnant youth who have no way to make their money and investments grow. All of it goes to a non-obligatory debt they are forced to pay out of shame and social pressure.
Take a look at developed countries. Giving money to relatives isn’t really practiced and as a result everyone is financially stable, even senior citizens. We can achieve that, too, if we learn how to be self-sustaining and not depend on our children to support us in the future.
Don’t clip their wings before they even get the chance to fly./PN
