I HAD A refreshing conversation with a young lady doctor this Valentine week and I must say I learned a whole lot from our exchange. It really is helpful to speak with the young; they, too, have their stories to tell.
Our exchange was centered on Valentine’s Day, and this was prompted when I told her I haven’t gotten a clue what to write about today, Thursday, the deadline of my column submission.
What she shared is insightful. There must be a hundred and one reasons why having a romantic relationship is putting so much pressure on young adults in this generation – not unlike our generation, huh! – and all because valentine’s day, in recent years, has become highly romanticized, leaving all those without romantic relationships, isolated and sidelined.
But seriously, is valentine’s day all about romance? Let’s hear it from a millennial.
“It takes a lot of introspection and self-love to acknowledge that love does not come solely from romantic relationships; that one can get it from other forms like friendship – love between and among friends, and family.”
Our young lady doctor said, “I realize this in my thirties.” The best part is having a group of single friends who can celebrate valentine’s day with you.”
“While it is true that every single individual yearns for a relationship and how it feels like to be in a relationship – no matter what age and gender, it can be equated with self-love and love for others,” she added.
Like any situation in life whether it’s valentine’s day or not, our young lady friend said there is a need to manage expectations to eliminate disappointments. So true. Isn’t this practical advice? Even in the corporate world, and in the realm of politics, managing expectations is a dictum.
She narrates, “Growing up, Papa takes me shopping during valentine’s day as a reward for not having a relationship. That’s my recollection of valentine’s day.” I believe this is a very practical approach by parents. We create special memories for our kids that deviate from the norm society is dictating.
I believe what she says applies as well to annulled women and men; separated individuals; single moms and single dads; widows and widowers; and those who choose to remain single in our present-day society.
“There shouldn’t be a specified date where people go all-out to treat their lovers, friends, and families well,” she further explains. I couldn’t agree more.
To cap our short conversation, she gives this advice to single women like her: “Take your time knowing yourself first.”
Isn’t that wise counsel? Greek philosopher Socrates said, “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” It reverberates up to the present times. It’s a gem worth pondering.
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While on this topic, I had fun listening to music and dancing with high school classmate and friend Ivie Datahan Atup Wednesday night. Ivie and I didn’t become close in high school as I only studied for a year at the then all-girl Holy Spirit School High School in my birth city. We became close because of Stella Mangubat Estrera who created a chat group among high school friends about a year before the 2019 pandemic hit the world. Ivie and I became friends courtesy of the chat box, and since among its members, she was the only one who was Bohol-based, we decided to meet, once I visited home.
Of course, the pandemic halted all plans but when I returned home in mid-2022, we finally met and became good friends. Friends are truly a gift. One goes through the different seasons in life, and God sends the right people for that specific season.
And connecting that to knowing thyself, we should also be sensitive to our life seasons like asking ourselves: “What season am I presently in?” Is it the season to reinvent myself? It will be useful especially to the empty nesters, newly singled, ad infinitum. It’s time to ask what’s the story in this season? It’s like writing a book. There’s always a plot in each chapter.
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Writer hosts Woman Talk with Belinda Sales at 91.1 Balita FM Tagbilaran City every Saturday, 4 p.m. to 5 p.m. She can be reached at belindabelsales@gmail.com. Twitter @ShilohRuthie/PN
