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BY PETER SOLIS NERY
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Monday, September 4, 2017
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ALL THINGS considered, I am a happy man. I am contented, and I am living a meaningful life.
I do a lot of things for other people that make me happy.
I write great literature (the awards will prove that), and I also write great entertainment (Iâve been a popular columnist the Ilonggo newspapers for exactly 17 years this month) for the non-literate… err, I mean, non-literary readers.
I give all sorts of workshops when I visit the country, mostly in August and September, mostly on creative writing, theatre, and filmmaking; and recently, on personality development.
I am most loved wherever I go. I am idolized by many, mostly students who are very impressionable and enjoy my quality of joy, life, and happiness; and my liberating sense of humor and intelligence.
More and more, people have become expressive of their adoration for me. They write poems and songs about me, they post things on Facebook that make me a softie.
They tell me Iâm a truly nice person based on their experience of me. They tell me Iâve inspired them for the longest time with my writings. Some for as long as 15 or 20 years.
They are proud to have their selfies and groufies taken with me.
But most of all, they think that I lead them to higher spirituality, to a more meaningful and purpose-driven life, and to a truthful and honest discussion of sex.
Yes, sex. My honest and straightforward treatment of sex make me a complete package. They think that I am a whole person. A psycho-spiritually integrated person. A totally winning personality.
Not a goodie-goodie. Not a hypocrite. Not a constipated moralist.
They fear no judgment from me. They know they can ask me anything, and get some enlightenment.
Ah, did I say these are students, young people, that admire me for this?
Yes. I talk to teenagers frankly about sex.
And by the response I get from them, I wonder what the hell their reproductrive health teachers are teaching them in junior high school.
I canât believe that at this time and age, masturbation is still a taboo topic in school!
Or that it is still perceived as a sin. Hello? The only sin there is is not to love!
I am notorious for giving my 16-year old niece a condom when she decided to go on a date with her boyfriend. But so far, my niece has remained smart. She hasnât gotten pregnant.
And, knock on wood, I hope we donât have to deal with unwanted pregnancy and abortion.
I am notorious for teaching my 13-year old nephew how to dispose of his cum rags (no socks, I told him) and tissues, or to lock his door when he does the deed.
I donât know if he does it. I really donât care. But so far, I have no problems with clogged toilets and plumbing.
At 13, my nephew even washes his own laundry now. I am a proud uncle!
In my hometown of Dumangas, I sometimes spend the nights in the town plaza. Boys and girls usually gather around me, and talk to me, like I am their big brother. Their seldom seen much loved, smart big brother.
We would talk about school, teenage angst, family problems, and keeping their eyes on the future.
Late nights, the boys would stay and ask me about sex, sexuality, the first time, and STDs.
I would talk to them about personal hygiene, condoms, teenage parenthood, prostitution, chupit (thatâs chupa in exchange for gupit from gay barbers and hairdressers, for you).
The boys love me. They adore me. And while I enjoy their beso-beso greetings and goodbye hugs, I wish they would just disrespect, and rape, me!
I figured the only way I could have sex with barely legals is for them to rape me. I mean, I am adamant about legal age.
But if they rape me, I cannot be charged with child abuse. If they bring me to court, Iâll charge them with rape!
I mean, I have some money, but I donât want to lose my money on a lawsuit over one and a half minute of pleasure for the barely legal!
Seriously, what can a post-pubescent adolescent give me that a legal person cannot?
The boys in my town love me. One boy kisses me more heavily than the others (in comparison to the light beso-beso kisses).
Heâs kinda cute. But heâs also a f*ckboy, I heard. I did not invent the word. In fact, he defined it to me when I pretended I did not know the terminologies of the millennials.
He often sees me when I visit the Philippines, if only to get a supply of condoms. He knows I travel with a suitcaseful of condoms.
Last year, he said he wanted to get tested for HIV like me. I was tempted to bring him to the city for a blood test. But I thought it would be scandalous if I bring a 16-year old for HIV testing.
I mean, for the ignorant Ilonggo mind that does not know what a libertine is, I am just a gay man, a sexual predator like notorious gay teachers, hairdressers and parlor queens, call center agents, and med reps.
I postponed taking him for his HIV test. I told him to go alone, or go with his mother!
I donât want an unnecessary scandal with a cute young boy.
That would take away my credibility, and may jeopardize my campaign for HIV testing and AIDS awareness. I mean, I donât want a beautiful young boy to eclipse this battle with HIV ignorance that I am fighting for.
Did I betray my HIV testing campaign by not taking the boy (and paying for his test) when he was willing to be tested?
In my heart, I donât really think so. I mean, I was already effective, successful even, in making him think about being tested.
Society perception is a stupid thing. But it is our reality.
If I am seen with this boy being tested for HIV, people might think I am banging this boy.
I mean, who wouldnât bang this boy? He is cute, has a big tool (Duh! We go to the swimming pool together!), and kisses well (rumors have it).
So, No! For 48 years, I have avoided sex scandals. I mean, scandals like having sex with minors.
Otherwise, I am a happy sex scandal.
I wrote sex columns in the Ilonggo newspapers. And sociologists credit me for the sexual revolution in Iloilo after I started writing freely about sex in the newspapers.
As a photography model, I have posed nude with boys and girls in a magazine, and my photos have created quite a scandal in the early years of the new millennium.
I also had full frontal nudities, and simulated gay sex, in my film âIkapito nga Adlawâ last year. The first Ilonggo film to be threatened with an X-rating by the MTRCB.
But all these help me become a credible speaker for sexual liberation, and HIV/AIDS awareness.
On Wednesday, September 6, starting 8 pm, I will perform my one-man stand up show âMy Life as Art⌠Live at Troi Oi!â Itâs Peter Solis Nery in concert.
It is a free show, and will serve as my farewell concert before I leave for a four-month tour of the UK and Europe. You just have to pay for your food and drinks.
I am not embarrassed to say that I will talk about sex on this show. In fact, I am proud to do so. Because honestly, if I donât do it, who will?
And seriously, this side of town deserves more than just controversies related to illegal drugs and politicians involved in them. Iâd rather that Iloilo be known as the sexiest city, or the most sexually liberated city, than the most shabulized city in the Philippines.
If you are not with me, die with drugs! (500tinaga@gmail.com/PN)
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