JOHN resigned from his job as an accountant. He received good salary and benefits. He gained friends. He loved his company. But why did he quit? It was because of his boss. According to him, his immediate manager is a bully. He yells at him while everybody in the office is watching. He intrudes his privacy. He spreads rumors about him. He questions his capabilities. He puts the blame on him – always. It was a struggle for John to wake up and drag himself to the office, knowing that for the rest of his eight-hour (sometimes more) duty, he needs to encounter the “monster.” It became so bad that he developed anxiety and panic attacks. That was when he decided it was time to quit.
John is only one of the thousands of employees who encounter bully bosses on a daily basis. Workplace bullying is harmful, as it may take a toll on one’s mental health. Some employees consider quitting, while some endure the bullying until they can find another job. If you have a bully boss, here are some ways on how to manage them:
Know the difference between a tough boss and a bully boss. Some employees tend to consider a boss as a bully when in fact he is just a tough one. There is a major difference. According to forbes.com, a tough boss is someone who is confident enough of his capabilities while a bully boss fears that his employee may lord over him in the long run. A tough boss sets challenges to motivate you to do more, while a bully gives you extreme challenges to put you down.
An article from the site stated, “A tough boss sets high standards, demands excellence, and pushes for results…A bully boss, by contrast, uses power to denigrate others as a means of putting people down to remain in charge.”
You can work for a tough boss, but working for a bully boss can be a difficult one.
Focus on your job. It sounds tough, especially the part of your job that has to deal with your boss. However, you can shift gears gradually. Instead of trying to let your boss affect you, focus on your responsibilities. What are the things that you need to complete today? What should you achieve by the end of the month?
According to an article on entrepreneur.com, “the more emotional power you give your toxic boss, the more your boss will focus on you as a target.” Just do your job and focus on your performance. Deliver results. Think of excellent ideas. Innovate on how you can help your company with your position.
Why is he a bully? Bullies are not born bullies. Experts even say that bullies are often victims, too. “Why is my boss like that?” This is a question that you should ask yourself or others in the workplace. Did he just come from a breakup? What was his life before he was in that position? What are the things expected from him as the boss? Does he have friends? Understanding a bully will help you handle things better.
Take notes, document conversations. You have to keep a record of your conversations and your boss’ bad behavior. Take note also of the date and time as well as the names of the people who were present when he bullied you.
Stay professional. Be professional even while your boss is not making you the better person in a situation. When your boss screams at you, stay calm; do not let your emotions take over. An article from psychologytoday.com suggests that you keep an index card of your possible responses to your boss’ bad behavior. It is likely that you already know his bullying pattern. Thus, be prepared on how to respond. Do not shout. Do not call him names. Do not spread gossip about him. Always stay professional.
Meet with the HR. With your documented account of your boss’ bad behavior, reach out to the Human Resource (HR) department and talk about it openly. You can also ask other victims to be with you during the meeting or you can jot down their experiences as well. Tell the HR that your boss’s bullying affects your physical and mental well-being as well as your job. Again, stay professional during this procedure. File a complaint and let the department investigate.
It is never easy to deal with a bully, much more with someone who manages you. Sometimes, you do not need to quit, you just have to know how to manage bullies./PN
