FILIPINOS love a good laugh. We can’t help but make light of just about anything.
But some jokes aren’t funny, mostly because the punch line is as “waley” as it is problematic and tactless. Worse, through social media, their reach widens, their impact amplified.
These include body-shaming jests, like what comedian Vice Ganda did years ago, and the “boyfriend-makes-you-happier-than-crown” insinuation from news anchor Noli de Castro. They were called out, and it seemed that they learned their lessons.
These are just some examples of how mindless quips can ruin a supposedly good time. Sure, they teach us to be more mindful next time. But what if there’s no next time?
An HIV awareness advocate shared with us a story proving that a “no-next time” scenario is very possible, and scary.
JaKe Positive has been dedicating almost a decade of his life to help fellow HIV patients. He was 24 and already a registered nurse when he was diagnosed with the infection in 2010. He had his fair share of struggles – from being forced to come out to his parents to being treated indifferently by relatives.
“At the time nagka-confrontation kami sang akon parents. And amo to nga time gin-disclose ko nga na-diagnose ako [with HIV]. Gin-disclose ko man akon sexuality,” JaKe shared. “For the whole week, nagahibi lang [si nanay] and wala kami nagasapakanay.”
After learning about his condition, JaKe’s parents made him stay in an apartment for two months all by himself. When he moved back to their house, his mother told him to use a different set of eating utensils – out of fear and a lack of sufficient knowledge on HIV transmission.
“Mabudlay that time kay indi pa sila equipped sa proper information. Somehow, may seclusion na bala. Ginapa-in na ako,” JaKe added.
But three years later, JaKe’s relationship with his parents improved. He proudly shared that his younger brother was supportive of his treatment, too. JaKe started taking his antiretroviral drugs that year.
In 2014, JaKe’s relatives from the United States went back to the Philippines. He thought they would be more accepting. He was wrong.
“I was confident nga ang stigma and discrimination didto daw medyo hagan-hagan but I felt the opposite from them,” JaKe said.
He was eating lunch when an aunt, a nurse working in the US, approached him and, almost to his surprise, asked why he was using the same eating utensils as the rest of them. JaKe thought his aunt already knew better about HIV transmission but he still explained. JaKe’s aunt let it go but just when he thought the ordeal was over, his uncle confronted him.
“Ginpamangkot ya (uncle) ko nga-a gin-impon ko ang akon ginkan-an sa usual nga ginabutangan sang eating utensils,” JaKe said.
Jake stays strong as he deals with HIV but some things still get to him. “Gusto niya i-separate ko. Masakit kay immediate relatives ko sila and they’re imposing something nga indi man sakto. Didto gid naglaw-ay akon buot.”
The battle went on. JaKe eventually found solace in joining support groups. He volunteered as an HIV counselor, reached out to people with the same struggles, started a blog, gave talks and now – almost eight years after he was diagnosed – has already helped hundreds of patients through his counseling sessions.
“Before daan, ang kinanglan ko lang man ang may magpamati sa akon,” JaKe said.
But not all his counseling sessions were successful, he admitted. Some patients “lose their faith.”
“One year or two years, sulit-sulit lang sia hambal sang problema niya. May pagka-hypochondriac na sia. May trust issues. Indi na siya kaubra maayo and gaka-apektuhan na ang mga tawo sa palibot niya,” he said of one fellow patient.
The patient needed a different kind of intervention, JaKe said. The patient suffered from depression as he ditched his counseling sessions and stopped taking his medicines.
That patient died, said JaKe.
It was not the disease that killed him but the stigma, the public disapproval – mindless banters and outbursts from self-righteous but misinformed individuals – that made it difficult for him to live with the infection.
There are already one million deaths due to HIV-related causes in the world, according to the World Health Organization.
“People who make fun of [HIV and AIDS], especially sa social network, kis-a I take [them] very seriously to the point na ginabais ko na,” JaKe stressed.
“They are public posts. Anybody can see them. Some daan they conclude right away and gapati sila maskin misconceptions gali.”
He continued, “Gina-try ko neutralize. Mostly daan negative lang ang makuha nila na information. Indi sakto.”
JaKe Positive believes that to end the stigma, people must educate themselves about what HIV and AIDS really are. Spreading misguided information about the disease helps no one.
While some people make light of HIV infection and AIDS, somewhere else, a teenage boy is struggling to make that first step towards treatment, or worse, an AIDS patient is fighting for his life on a hospital bed./PN
